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Improving Low Self Esteem

August 29, 2011

Trying to improve your self esteem isn’t easy by all accounts.  I think the first thing you need to do is acknowledge to yourself that you want to work on certain areas of your life, or your weaknesses.  Perhaps recognise that there are certain aspects of your personality that you don’t like and would like to change it – that’s a start.  There will always be plenty of help out there when you are ready.  As a famous quote said – “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear” – absolutely true by the way! 

Step 1: So the first step in improving your self esteem is to break it down into pieces and then it does not look like such a big problem.  Without realising it you have probably allowed low self esteem to creep into your life through your own habitual thinking.  This is where you can tackle the problem head on and this no doubt will lead you to improving your life.

Step 2: Forget about what other people think.  If you seriously want to improve low self esteem you will never be able to do it if you worry about what other people say or do.  You have no control over what someone things about you.  If you are at school or at work and bothered by others try to avoid them if you can, if you cannot do not play the game and engage them in conversation, work with them if need be and ignore what they have to say and eventually they will get frustrated and stop.  This may take time but it will work. 

Step 3: You can help to improve low self esteem by not comparing yourself to others.  We often compare ourselves to others both in and out of our social circle or even worse is when we compare ourselves to celebrities. Unless you are a celebrity or are lucky enough to have enough money to live like one – “you will never know what its like, so stop trying, and besides you can’t afford to have your hair and nails done every day, or have the best personal trainer to get your body trim.  So please!… give it up now!  They may look happy but I bet half of them are not.  Comparing yourself to others can be one of the main reasons why people suffer from self esteem problems and while this persists you will never feel better about yourself since by doing this you only emphasize what you do not have but think you need to make you happy.  You will never be someone else or like someone else because “you” are “you” and that is wonderful in the same way that the other person you are comparing yourself to is also unique.  Try being the best that you can be – try being positive, honest, respectful to others, stop gossiping, being jealous, envious, taking out your problems and issues on other people. Try to forget about what other people look like or what they have and focus on yourself.  if you want something in your life, work on improving yourself and realise that it is within your reach.

Step 4: Stop worrying about your problems and do not take life so seriously.  We all worry at certain times but worrying as the effect of magnifying your problems the more you think about them.  Life is a journey for all of us and there are ups and downs along the way.  If everything was always perfect we would never learn any lessons and never to able to progress and grow as individuals and towards more periods of happiness.  Improving our self esteem comes when we let go of the tight grip we have on life and trust in a positive outcome.  Have you ever noticed that the thing you are worrying about rarely happens in the way you imagined it.  All we can all do is get on with our lives and when problems arise to try and deal with it in the best possible way.  What will change a situation (into a positive/negative) is the decisions you make in the “moment”.  We all have choices.  So give some thought to what choices you are making in your life.

Step 5: Concentrate on making yourself happy and let other people make their own decisions.  It is OK to be helpful to others but not at your own expense.  You need to focus more on yourself if you want to improve your self esteem, this is not being selfish, you can help others even more if you first succeed at helping yourself.

Step 6: To improve your self esteem and become a success in life why not focus on your strengths and give less attention to any weaknesses you may have.  We are all stronger in certain areas than others so spend some time discovering what your strengths are? and how you can use them more in your life.  Successful people are the ones who focus on building on their strengths first.  Later, when you feel a little stronger and more confident, you can consider your weaknesses if need be and you will deal with those weaknesses so much easier.

Step 7: Set meaningful goals to improve self esteem and work towards the achievement of those goals everyday.  Work on both short team and long term goals and reward yourself along the way as you see your goals come to fruition.  Setting your intentions to achieve and seeing those intentions manifest in your reality gives you so much personal power and this will help you to feel better about yourself.

Step 8: Improving your self esteem will of course take time, but break it down and take a long look at what bothers you and where your low self esteem potentially stems from.  It could be from childhood or from school.  You can use a variety of healing modalities such as Reiki, NLP, EFT, Bach Flower Essences, Counselling, Psychotherapy to explore further and help to heal the stem of the problem.  You’ll save yourself a lot of work if you actually spend some time trying to understand why you feel the way you do.  Its no good just putting it into a filing cabinet and forgetting about it.  In my experience, that’s never the answer.  All that happens is the problem festers, lies dormant until something happens in your life to trigger it and then you now have one problem compounded by another.  When you start to feel more positive about yourself things around you tend to get better.

Step 9: Keep an open mind and be positive about your life.  Set goals, reward yourself, and keep on trying.  Remember ask for help!

Step 10: Good luck!!

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