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What Are Our Mirror Reflections Trying To Tell You?

September 13, 2011

Have you ever met someone and they completely just get on your nerves? or cause you to have an emotional outburst of some type? I can hear already all the yes’s.  I became very aware of mirroring more so when I was really committed on my spiritual journey.  Before I “consciously woke up” I was completely oblivious to mirroring.  I sort of heard about it but didn’t really know what it meant.  I would meet people all the time who always pushed my buttons but never gave it a second thought…I wasn’t aware that the person was “mirroring” an aspect of myself that was either a short coming of my character, a big message that needed my attention or a reflection of a repressed emotion.  Now… before I go into the depths I just want to say that this process may cause you to over analyse everyone you meet.  You may not.. but just in case you do… stop! take a breath.  Its a bit like going into “analysis-paralysis”… you could drive yourself nuts.. so if you find yourself over analysing.. please STOP! Perhaps come back to it all when you can look at your mirrors more objectively. OK! that’s the small warning notice out the way.

When someone is first asked to understand that an irritating person is merely offering him a mirror image of himself, he will strongly resist this idea.  Rather, he will argue that he is not the angry, violent, depressed, guilt-ridden, critical, or complainer person that his mirror/teacher is reflecting.  The problem lies with the other person, right? Wrong, not even by a long shot. It would be convenient if we could always place the blame on the other person, but this is not always so easy.  First, ask yourself “If the problem truly is the other person’s and not my own then why does being around that person affect me so negatively?”

Some examples of what our mirrors may reflect:

* Our Short Comings – because character flaws, weaknesses etc are more easily seen in others than in ourselves our mirrors help us to be able to see our short comings more clearly.

* Magnified Pictures – mirroring is often magnified to enhance getting our attention.  What we see is enhanced to look larger than life so we won’t overlook the message, making sure we get the BIG PICTURE.  For example although you are not even close to being the overbearing critical type of character that your mirror is reflecting, seeing this behaviour in your mirror will help you to see how your nit-picking habits are not serving you.

* Repressed Emotions – our mirrors will often reflect emotions that we have comfortably repressed over time.  Seeing someone else display similar emotions may very well touch on our feelings that we have buried away since time began or locked away in the filing cabinet and thrown the key away, to help bring them to the surface for balancing/healing.  Its never a good feeling, but its worse when you bury them, because they only sit there and fester… then all it takes is for something to happen… and a whole big can of worms is unleashed.  (This is often linked with people who are depressed – unexpressed feelings)

Our family, friends and co-workers don’t recognise the mirroring roles that they are acting out for us at a conscious level.  And remember we are also doing it as well with others.  Nonetheless, it is no coincidence that we are born within our family units and engage in different relationships to learn from one another.  Our family members (parents, children, siblings) often play major roles of mirroring for us.  This is because it is more difficult for us to run and hide from them.  Its really in your face! Besides, avoiding our mirrors is non-productive because sooner or later, a bigger mirror (or lesson) will appear to present it self.  I’m sure you have all at one time or another encountered the same situation over and over again, perhaps in a different way…(yeah!) exactly its the one thing you are trying to avoid.

Ultimately, by avoiding a particular person we hope that our lives will be less stressful, but it doesn’t necessarily work out that way.  I suppose it does depend on the person and what they mean to you and how often you see them.  Why do you suppose some people tend to attract partners with similar issues (alcoholics, abusers, cheaters etc) repeatedly? If we succeed at getting away from a person without learning what we need to know from the relationship we can expect to meet up with another person who will very soon reflect the same image upon us.  If it is an emotion, for example then having some support either through counselling, healing, psychotherapy may help or any other form of help.  So now a second opportunity will surface for us to take inventory of our issues.  And if not then, a third, and so forth until we get the BIG picture and begin the process of change/acceptance.

When we are confronted with a personality that we find bothersome or uncomfortable to be around it can be a challenge to comprehend that it is offering us a grand opportunity to learn about ourselves.  By shifting our perspectives and attempting to understand what our teachers are showing us in their mirror reflections we can begin to take baby steps towards accepting or healing those wounded and fragmented parts within ourselves.  As we learn what we need to do and adjust our lives accordingly, our mirrors will change.  People will come and go from our lives, as we will always attract new mirror images for us to look at as we progress and grow.

We are both students and teachers in this life.  As a Reiki Teacher, my students are all mirrors for me so I am constantly learning, adapting, changing all the time.  So the next time you catch yourself saying “You know such and such I hate when they do “blank – what ever behaviour they are displaying”…take out the name of the person and replace it with yours.  At first you may not get it… but on deeper reflection you really do start to see what people are trying to teach you about yourself.  Take the opportunity to give it a go and see…! You never know this may be as good as time as ever to finally clear something up, heal it and move on. 

If you would like a consultation with me about your mirrors and assistance with healing or gaining balance in your life,  I would be more than happy to help if I can.  Either contact me through my website or via Skype Karyn.Farrell

Until the next blog…!

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